Wednesday, 24 October 2007

Day 24

So, where have I been... well, this is the nature of the beast. Although I havent been bouncing off the walls and rejoicing my eternal happiness, life has been ticking over and I havent felt the irritation of life wash over me... Until today.

In fact, far from being 'normal' and happy, the past 2 weeks have been low, I have for the most part, stayed indoors, and kept myself to myself. There have been times when I have wanted to visit, and write, but due to time being so short when I can think clearer, I didn't want to get into moaning.

The weekend of the 13/14th, ovulation, was awful. I was so down and depressed, and alone.

I am behind on bills and shopping, I am broke, and now, to top it all, my partner had an operation on Monday and is now off work for 4 weeks. Before he went into hosp, a situation arose, one which hurt and upset me. I would rather be doing anything other than nursing him. I am angry with him, but it's all brushed under the carpet again.

I am due on in the next few days. It is full moon on friday, and I really havent a clue how I am going to cope with it all. My eldest daughter is back at the weekend too. I should be looking forward to it, but to be honest, she is just another source of stress.

I have an appointment with another psychiatrist on friday, but far from getting my hopes up, or hoping they will be able to help, I know I'll be a puzzle, a mystery, and they'll offer plenty of stuff that will never happen.

Down on the world again... yup.

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