Wednesday, 4 April 2012

I write about my health because...

Day 4 of the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge.

I write about my health because… Reflect on why you write about your health for 15-20 minutes without stopping.

It's weird... for me writing about my life and disorder has become normal, but I guess others may see it as a bit bizarre or self indulgent.  I can't imagine NOT writing out the things in my head.

I started blogging over 10 years ago.  Back then, I had no idea I had PMDD.  My marriage had just ended, a relationship of 10 years.  I was on my own in a strange town as I'd moved away with my daughter who was then 3 years old.  I had a computer and access to the internet and I was stuck in alone, every single day and night, trying to raise a child and dealing with being single for the first time in my adult.

I relied on chat rooms mainly, for company of an evening and then I discovered blogging.  The platform of choice was Diary X and the computer (and internet) was run by hamsters.  I could remain anonymous, and I would type out all my feelings and talk about the things that had happened to me in my life.  I look back and cringe at the honesty.  The things I would reveal and share to the world.  I often do the same about some of my earlier posts on this blog, but the honesty has led me to where I am now.  Being able to help and comfort hundreds of other women who read my blog.

I write about my health because it gives my mind an outlet.  PMDD makes my thoughts spiral.  I find myself full of words and no one to say them too.  A blog gives me that space to let it all out.

Moods and Musings is 5 years old this year.  For the first 3 years, it was a place to feel sorry for myself.  It was a place to let out my frustrations.  When I started this blog, I had been diagnosed with Pre Menstrual Dysphoric disorder.  I didn't blog that regularly, but I knew it was there if I needed it.  It was called Moods and Musings as I ofter liked to write about things other than my disorder, and my mind wanders.. I like to indulge that.  In the past two years my focus changed.  I was fed up with just spilling out my woes, and I also figured that it was all becoming a pretty depressing read.  So, I decided to start writing articles and compiling informative blog posts that would have the potential of helping others.  At the same time I started a support group on Facebook, that has gone from strength to strength and I now have a total of 3 meeting places on Facebook for women with PMDD.

My health over the past 5 years has also improved.  My life has changed dramatically, and in turn has given me more strength to find the positive in things.  I have learned better ways of dealing and living with PMDD.  I have my journey here in front of me.... and it's out there for others to share.
I still write about my experiences, but I now try to make every post more positive.  Yes, women with PMDD are looking for women with similar stories, and to know that they aren't the only one, but they are also looking for alternative ways of coping, for tips, ideas and theories that might shed some light on their life.

So, I now blog because I know I have readers.. because I know that my articles have helped others to come to some realisation that in turn has helped them.  I STILL need an outlet for my busy mind and all the thoughts in my head, and for as long as I can find things to write about, I will be blogging!

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