Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Are you ready for Christmas?

What part of your cycle will you be in over the Christmas break?

I'm feeling blessed as I am currently on day 4, so in 6 days time, I'll be hitting ovulation and will hopefully be able to enjoy the festivities without lack of energy getting in the way.  I do feel like I've lost a load of time this week having to retreat and rest, so I am slightly anxious at the moment. I'm not a party person, but I do like being able to enjoy the company of others without PMDD stresses getting in the way!  What I will have to watch however are my frustrations and anxiety, as ovulation can so easily tip from energy and excitement into anxiety and anger.

Where will you be in 6 days time?

'Cycle' scopes for Christmas 2012!

Days 1-7 - Menstruation
If you are due to bleed just before or on Christmas/Boxing day then try to get things organised while you are still pre-menstrual.  During menstruation we need quiet time and to relax and rest.   This may be difficult with Christmas arrangements.  Hopefully, if you were aware that your sacred time was due to fall at such a busy time, you may have been able to plan ahead. Maybe saying no to invites out to social situations that would be too much for you at this time.  If staying at home with the family can mean just as much stress, then be open.   Make sure you partner knows that you will be in a retreat time of the month and you may need to rest.. EVEN if it's Christmas.. PMDD does not know it's Christmas!  If you don't feel like cooking, then maybe taking Mum up on the invite might actually be better and relieve some pressure.  Call on others to help, and if you need to rest and take some quiet time out then make sure loved ones know that it's just because you need it to stay well, and not because they have done something to upset you.  If you can muster up enough energy to visit family then maybe limit the time you are there. Sometimes getting out, even though we feel terrible can actually help.  Go easy on yourself, and remember a walk outside can help with pain and stress.. Menstruation relates to winter, so at Christmas you have a 'double dose' of winter as it were.  You may find yourself deep in reflection of the past year and considering what 2013 may bring.  It may be difficult to get through, but when you do you'll be over the worst ready for the bright shiny new year!

Days 7-14 - Pre Ovulation
If you are due to be in the pre ovulation stage of your cycle, Christmas may feel a bit too much.   You may find it hard to get into the swing of things, especially if you have just finished bleeding and the last week before Christmas was a crazy panic as you had tons to do but no energy to do them in. You may feel the energy coming back and with it a sense of optimism and happiness, and excitement about Christmas.   Don't let anything you forgot to do, or couldn't get done in time cause you stress.  It's ONE day.   Nothing is ever perfect and remember that all those rosy images you see plastered over the TV screens and adverts are just that.. fantasy.  You may experience anxiety, with the rushing of energy back into your being, but just take some breaths and remember that everything is OK.   You may decide YOUR party time this year is over new year's eve, when you will be ovulating. You also might hit the sales to find the perfect present for yourself!  You'll reach new year wanting to manifest new things with ovulation.   Ovulation has an energy similar to spring, with new life returning to the earth.  You may want to start looking at some new years resolutions over Christmas, plant the seed.  It will be easier to bring into fruition in January.

Day 14-21 - Ovulation
Ovulation over the Christmas period may mean you are feeling good and ready for the festive season. Pre ovulation may have seen you preparing and organising for Christmas.   The rush in energy may have seen you rushing around buying and making last minute presents.  You're spirits may be high and you may be feeling good about any social events you have planned.  The energy is social and busy, it relates to Summer.   Many women have a challenging time with ovulation, the pressure to be 'out there' for some personalities is too much.   The worry about how we look and appear to the world. Some ladies like make up and getting dressed up, some don't.  Which ever category you are in, be YOU.  If you have a fancy party to go to but hate getting dressed up, and therefore that is causing anxiety, then just go in something you like. Bend the rules and find something smart but casual.. it's Christmas!  If you don't want to go, and going will create a disasterous situation then don't go, but don't beat yourself up about it for the rest of the holidays.  Beware of ovulation anger and frustration. With everyone being home at Christmas we can easily become angered and irritated by people, especially those close.   Usually it's because there is something we want to do, but we are not being allowed, or for some reason it can't happen.  This is a good time to practice letting things go and re focusing on the things we CAN do.  Acknowledge that we are upset and why, then move on..  As we tip over into pre menstruation, we will experience fluctuating symptoms and our mood can drop. Remember that as much as we will the bad days to pass, we should try and make the most of the better days too.  New year may feel a bit of a drag to you, so try to have a good Christmas, the cycle is working with you here, so there is every possibility you could have a REALLY good Christmas!

Days 21-28 - Pre Menstruation
If you will be due on your period at Christmas then you may find it all a bit of a struggle.
The pre menstrual time brings an energy of slowing down and withdrawing, the opposite of what Christmas is all about.  Pre menstruation relates to autumn, and to me that means unsettled weather. Some beautiful bonus sunny days and some right 'orrible ones.  So do what you can.  Ask others to help.  Try and keep Christmas simple and relaxed.  It's a bit late now to pull out of plans that might have been made, but if you really feel you cannot go to something, remember to try and explain things in a calm way, and that it's no ones fault! THIS is when you need to delegate and organise.  Ovulation the week before Christmas may have meant you've had some fun spending and organising presents.  You may have felt full of hope and happiness, but as the wheel turns and you get closer to the big day, you may feel your spirits dropping and your energy flagging. Remember this is not your fault, it just is the way things ebb and flow.   Make sure loved ones know you are due on and might be cranky (or that they need to be on crisis alert).  This also means that you will be bringing in the new year with your bleed.   Not the greatest scenario, but one that can't be helped.  The new year is a time of contemplation, reflection and thoughts to the future.   You can use your sacred time over new year to really look at 2012 and what you have learned, how far you have come and what you want for 2013.

Make sure YOU take the steps you need to to get through the season.  We can explain things to others and in turn they can help, but if you don't let others know, your moods and actions can be taken in the wrong way.  Running up to bed on Christmas day may seem rude or selfish, but not if you've explained.  An hour or two in bed may mean you have a happier evening, rather than end up snapping at the kids or your partner.  You have to look after your own needs, and put things in place so that you avoid as much stress as possible.

Christmas can be a really challenging time for many, whether you have PMDD or not, so try and prepare a little.  One of the good things about PMDD is it is usually quite predictable, so we can look a week or two ahead and get an idea of where we will be in our cycle.

I hope this little blog helps, and I hope that your Christmas passes without any form of crisis.

If you do find yourself alone and in a dark place, please don't hesitate to contact someone.   If there are no friends or family you can call on then make note of your local helpline numbers. Don't suffer alone.  If you are a member of mine or any other support groups, remember you can always post in there, even if it's quieter at this time of year, someone will respond, and sometimes support comes from unlikely places.

Sending much love and many Yuletide blessings!
Cat xx 

Support lines in the UK

Samaritans - 08457 90 90 90 (24-hour helpline)
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.

Sane - 0845 767 8000 (daily, 6pm-11pm)
Charity offering support and carrying out research into mental illness.


Jane said...

Such a great post Cat (as always). Really thought provoking for me, as last month was an easy month but the month before was just awful. I've up'd my dose accordingly and hoping that the PMDD isn't as severe as it can be for xmas.
I'm due on between xmas and new year depending on my cycle so we'll see how it goes.
Glad you are off the ropes for this one though, 2012 has had highs and lows for you I know, so glad it's ending on a good note PMDD wise anyhow. Enjoy your first married couple xmas! X

Smoothface Botox Company said...

I am going into hospital on christmas eve to have my ovaries and womb removed as my pmdd has become worse with age.

I was thinking of WRITING blog about it and came across yours.

I hope you don't mind me joining in as I have had this for 20 years and could possibly help some other poor soul having to suffer as I have.

[a very scared about Monday} LISA


Scarlett said...

Cat that was a great post...sadly...

I spent three days in the hospital psych ward after a complete meltdown...dealing with too much at the wrong time, including a son (24) who hates my boyfriend (28) because of his age and the closeness in their ages....and is manipulating me and my being able to see my beautiful grandson (16 months) because of it...I've been dealing with this deep saddness, and it's been tearing my up inside...

I almost killed myself on Saturday night December 22. I will spare you the details, but needless to say, I drove myself and checked in to the mental unit of the local hospital where I stayed a bit drugged on Lorazapam and slept part of the time to try not to think about the disaster this years' christmas had become due to family stress, financial stress, (I am out of work and have been for some time. My boyfriend is amazing and takes good care of me, though I have been trying to help him help me by sending him to your blog and such...(I'm still trying to understand what is happening to me's fucking nuts....)
GUESS what day my period started??? On christmas, a few hours after I checked out of the hospital...

I DID get to see my beautiful grandbaby, but I fear our tight bond is being lost by my son's inability to see past his own bullshit to allow me to live my life the way I see fit: with a man who loves me and that I love...I dont get to see the baby but once or twice a month now, and he won't bring him to my home, Ih ave to go to the other grandmothers to see him....Oh, Cat, it's been just awful....

Anyway. I'm on Floexetine for three days now, and I feel a little up and down in mood...I was SUPER happy yesterday morning, making some leather arm bands (to hide my scars and recent cuts) and feeling love and concern from local friends at the artist community where we live....but in the evening it all unravelled again and I sobbed and sobbed for almost an hour because I fear i will never ever be "normal" or "well" nor that anyone will ever be able to help me...

I am looking for a psychiatrist and found several depression groups to attend, so I am planning to do everything I can to get help...

My mother insists I apply for disability (which in the United States can be a long, looonnnggg process) because I can't hold down an 8-5 job with this imbalance in my life...


I am a woman on the edge, to be sure, and I'm praying to the gods and goddesses that be and hear my prayer to save me from myself...I dont want to die, but PMDD just about got me.

Thank you again for the work you do...I sent a lady from the crisis line to your blog as she didn't even know what it is...So now, I'm sending a lot of health professionals to YOU for information! how do you like that??

Please always write Cat...

I hope to have better updates soon.
(It's Penny Michelle from facebook)

xoxoxoxox Hugs and Happy New Year to you and yours.

Cat said...

Thanks Jane!

Hi Lisa, I hope the op went well and that you are making a good recovery. Make sure you rest up! Thanks for joining it, it always means a lot when people leave a comment!

Penny, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you this Christmas. Families can be so very difficult at times. I am glad you are ok and that you got to see your grandson. I had a terrible Christmas a few years ago, it still haunts me now and then, but I have to remember I have come SO far from the mes I was then. Life won't always feel this hard. I hope 2013 is much more kind to you! Feel free to add me on FB or join one of my groups, the support might help, and thank you for sharing my blog with others! Sending lots of love..

Cat xx

MirandaG said...


Thank you for this post and your blog. I found you last month when I was having a total crisis but even after all these years I did not know what was happening to me. Your blog saved me then, and has reassured me again this month. To know I am not alone is HUGE. To know that it is not my fault is HUGE. To know that it really is this severe (and that I am not exaggerating as I have been told many times) is HUGE. There is sadness for me everywhere though. I stopped a successful career since I could not function sufficiently for half my life, I worry about my daughter's future with PMDD if she inherits hormone behaviour from me, and I worry about alienating myself from friends during the dark times. BUT! Most of all, for the first time in years and years, I have HOPE peeking through the darkness.

so THANK YOU! You are amazing and I wish I had found you earlier

Much love


Cat said...

Hi Miranda,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm so glad that my sharing has helped you.. I remember what it feels like to feel alone, and that no one understands. The frustration and anger that can build up. One thing I have learned is that you have to make the best of what ever is thrown at you. It's sad to hear that you feel you lost a successful career, but to me that says that you have the ability there, and some experience. With that, there may be something you can create to earn and become successful again, but something that fits more around your cycle and something where you are the boss! All things are not lost, sometimes we just have to be creative in the way we use our talents. Having a project to work on really helps sometimes, and can be a lifeline, especially when PMDD just makes you want to cut off from the world.

DON'T worry about your daughter. You cannot waste time worrying about things that haven't happened yet. You can look at it this way.. IF she did show signs of having PMDD, who better to help her than someone who has been through it. Look at what you could teach her, how she can honor herself and learn to look after herself.. alongside having a mum who completely understands. I know it has saved me during my teen's hormonal outbursts. I can ask where she is in her cycle and figure out if she's at a critical point. I can then go a bit easier on her and understand... how better would our lives be if our mothers had taught us how to cope with the changes in our cycles.

Sending love to you and feel free to find me on facebook and contact me there :)

Cat xx

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