Thursday, 28 October 2010

I want to write but...

...the words just dont come.

Maybe today I'll have more luck.  Everytime I want to sit and write about my condition, or rant, or just throw crazy thoughts at the screen, I seem to gag myself.  A million reason come into my mind about why I shouldn't write, even though the only reason I need is that it might make me feel better.

This year has been a tough ride, but it feels like that every year.
I came off all meds in June, and have been using a homeopathic remedy, Lac Humanum.  It seems to be helping, but controlling my irrational thoughts is the hardest thing at the moment.

I have lots of little things I want to post about, so will go for the short and sweet approach, then maybe, I might be able to get my head around posting more often.

This week has been horrible.  I had booked and paid for a trip to Spain.  I was getting all set to go, and then my back went.  One false move and my long awaited trip, all the cash, and my dream of getting away and finding myself went up the swanny.  That happened last week, and I coped ok.  There wasnt much I could do about it, as I couldnt even stand up with help for the first two days.  I was lucky it hadnt gone while in Spain, but still... I was stuck to the sofa, or laid up in bed, with painful journeys between the two.  Over a week on, and I'm still in pain, and my muscles aren't happy.
Ironically, I had booked on a dance retreat!  Definatley no dancing for me :(

So this week is a week of lost dreams, feeling alone, and frustrated with life.
Thankfully, I have been able to draw, it appears I also might finally get some things written down, and have managed to cope with the kids off on half term.  Hooray.
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