Saturday, 16 February 2008

Blocked

So today, I have woken up with a foul mood. I'm grumpy, just want to be alone, and very moody. I upset everyone this morning, my thoughts have been wild, and all I have wanted to do is sit and draw or paint. I have been trying to think all day about where to start with my canvas. A million and one ideas flow through me. All different ideas, I start one, I leave it, I think about another, I dont like it, I repaint over my canvas for the second time.

I toy with the idea of getting out my paints and just going for it.. but every which way I turn, there is a reason not to.

I am on my own in the house... the way I like it when I'm feeling like this, but at the same time, I still have no peace, there is still no quiet in my mind. I'm whirling round on that wheel of fortune again, attempting to grab for the peaceful centre point, but with no success.

I am thankful for my attempts at living up to my challenge of writing for 10 mins a day. Now I have written a little, I think I know what to do on that bloody canvas. All I want to paint is dots. Points... centre points... where I want to be.

A dot. The start. The beginning of any mark made on paper. The tiny hole a compass makes at the centre of the circle.

I want to create something that takes time, that is repetitive... Like a mantra, or a chant, repeated over and over.

There's my 10 mins... I'm gonna go see if I can actually do this....

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