Friday night creation...

We sometimes play this in the support groups... it often get's us giggling...

**Participants required for a UK PMDD study**

Jenna Hardie is currently undertaking a study looking into the effects of PMDD in the workplace. She would like to hear from women who have been diagnosed with PMDD and have experience of a workplace environment.
It consists of an 1 hour interview either done over Skype or telephone so it does not involve you leaving your home. There is no reimbursement for taking part but it is a chance for women to tell their stories of how living and working with PMDD has affected their every day lives.

The study has received full ethical approval from Northumbria University in Newcastle.
A message from Jenna:

I understand that PMDD is a very emotional an stressful disorder but would really appreciate if anyone would like to help me out. There is also a chance that this study will get published and hopefully people will start learning more about what you ladies go through each month. If anyone is interested please email me on jenna_h1986@yahoo.co.uk

If you are interested and would like more information, please email Jenna at jenna_h1986@yahoo.co.uk.

PMS Free Now

I was contacted by a lady called Pennie who has devised a healing program to ease or eliminate PMS and PMDD symptoms.  I visited the website www.pmsfreenow.com to find a simple site with a video and adverts for more video's coming soon.  It's the sort of site I would probably skip thinking it's a scam, but as Pennie had contacted me personally, briefly sharing that she had suffered with PMDD in the past, I felt I should watch it before I made any judgements.

It was good!  Pennie gives sound advice and brings forward considerations that all women should be aware of when they are suffering with PMD or PMDD.  There is somewhere you can sign up to receive the other videos (I forget where, but I know I did as I got a few emails from Pennie's website over the next few days) all of which are free, and full of things you may not have considered looking at with regard to your PMDD symptoms.

Now, the way I saw it, was this was obviously leading into a paid program or service, and as someone who has been surfing the web for years, it had the distinct vibe that this would be pricey.  I also wanted to know more about Pennie.  Who was she?  what were her credentials?  I certainly wouldn't ever want to be promoting anything scam-like.  So me being me, emailed her direct and said that I would share her website with all of you, if she wrote us a blog about how PMS Free Now came to be.

My mind was working along the lines of the fact that maybe others out there had missed some good advice or a chance to work with a specialised program by being a little put off by the lack of personal info about Pennie and her journey, and to me, knowing the person and the website is legit is pretty top priority.  Anyway, Pennie is lovely and was very happy to share a blog with us.

Learning to Trust a Failing Body.

It was my 20th birthday and I found myself lying on my bed crying. Why? I had NO idea.
I just knew that it felt like my life was over and that I could not stop crying.
It made no sense. My life at that point was exciting and fun and this particular day I was super excited about hosting a big party later that night and I had looked forward to this day for several weeks. Still, a few hours before the guests were to arrive I was swallowed by this big black hole and I did not have a clue what was going on.

This is the first specific memory I have from PMS/PMDD. However, when I finally a few years later was beginning to understand what was happening to me I could see that the signs and symptoms were there long before that. I used to think of these days as "Tooth Brushing Days". Why? Because brushing my teeth was about the most advanced task I could take on those days without becoming completely overwhelmed and crumble to pieces. That was of course if I did not look into the bathroom mirror - if I did, I would see this awful reflection of myself and break down in tears and even the tooth brushing would too difficult to complete.

Over the years these random (top secret) Tooth Brush Days evolved into (still top secret)recurring Tooth Brush Weeks. Extreme mood swings, self loathing, crying spells that would last for days...Looking back now I do not know how I managed. I guess you do because you have to. And, I saw no other option but to keep trying: trying to cope with the symptoms and trying to find a way to beat them.

I tried everything under the sun: hormones in various different shapes and forms, anti-depressants, different herbs/ supplements/ vitamins, meditation, hair analysis, blood analysis, Ayur-vedic medicine, traditional Chinese medicine, acupressure, acupuncture, special diets, detoxifications & cleanses, exercises, Qi Gong and yoga. And, lots of other things too. Nothing seemed to work.

Deep down I wanted to trust my body. I wanted to trust its wisdom and its healing intelligence that I on some level knew was there. However, it felt like my body was broken and therefore could not do its job and therefore could not be trusted. I felt betrayed by my own body. And, I constantly felt like I let myself down by not coming up with a solution.

This battle went on for almost twenty years. Luckily I found the strength to keep going because one day I did find what I had been searching for all those years: the tools I needed to heal my body and my life! The tools that were able to transform my life were Muscle Testing and Energy Medicine. 

With the help of Muscle Testing I could finally figure out why my body was failing every month. I discovered that my body was NOT broken. And, I discovered it was on my side - it was working 24/7 - just like me - to try and heal! However, there were so many things in the way. Things I was not aware of, both physical and non-physical things, were blocking my body from healing. Old traumas, emotions and beliefs disrupted my energy field and kept my body in a non-healing state. Also, a massive fungal infection plus a number of energy toxins were constantly destabilising my hormones. With some diet adjustments, some other life style changes - and with the help of the gentle techniques of modern Energy Medicine - these blocks were not hard to overcome and sure enough, when they were gone, so was my PMS/PMDD. My dream had finally come true. 

A few years later I am still living my dream: I am able to enjoy life in a way that I could only dream of before and I am so grateful for this. However, no matter how fantastic it feels when your dreams come true there are always room for new dreams. My new dream is to help women who are still struggling with PMS/PMDD - to offer them hope and to provide them with the tools they need in order to heal. 

I know we all have our own journey's to make and your journey may be very different from mine. However, by sharing our stories we can spread hope and ideas to each other. If you want to know more about some of the things I learned on my journey you are welcome to check out my website: www.pmsfreenow.com. And, wherever your journey takes you - I wish you all the best.

Blessings, 

Pennie Kristiansson

We all struggle with the medical profession, some of us spend a small fortune visiting specialists, buying supplements etc, some of us prefer not to take medication and go the alternative drug free route.  What Pennie is offering is akin to seeing a PMDD Specialist, only the tools she uses are very different to those Gynaecologists in London.  Now, I couldn't afford a private specialist, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford what Pennie is offering, however, I have to remember that not everyone is as skint as me!  and in the name of sharing information and introducing you to other ways to combat PMDD, I felt it was my duty to share this with you.  The PMS Free Now videos are free and worth a watch, even if you think that you know everything there is to know.  You might not!

Give the video's a watch.  Check out Pennie's other site www.thenovaplace.com Womens Holistic Health Centre and head over to her Facebook page www.facebook.com/PennieKristiansson and give her a like.  She is after all a PMDD survivor,  a success story! and is trying to help others overcome their symptoms too.  What she's offering might not be for you, but go show your support anyway... and go check out her free videos!  what have you got to lose!

Wonderful Women's Day

I have very kindly been asked to talk about PMDD at a local Wonderful Women's Day.

The whole day is incorporating lots of activities, including an opportunity to experience Miranda Gray's Womb blessing in the company of others, AND a viewing of the film 'Things we don't talk about'.

If you live in the Hampshire area, why don't you come along!

For more details about activities please click the following links.

Miranda Gray's Womb Blessing http://www.wombblessing.com/
(You must register with Miranda to receive the womb blessing, chose 12 noon as the time if you are coming along on the day)

'Things we don't talk about' - Red Tent Movie http://www.redtentmovie.com/
(Admission to film only will be at 5.30pm with a suggested donation of £7)

Event run and organised by The Dreadess http://www.thedreadess.com/#/wonderful-womens-day/4576189163

Micro blog!

Been really busy. 
Life has been like a little girl with a curl.
Been developing my meditation practice, it's going well.  It's inspired me to teach meditation so I enrolled on a course... or two, yes, I enrolled on two courses, a PTLLS certificate and a meditation teacher certificate.  New career here I come...
Having to write essays and homework along with all the usual stuff.
Had a nightmare weekend (days 24-25) but I recovered swiftly and day 28 became day 1 today!  YES! (urgh cramps...)
I'm off camping soon... come rain or bloody shine, need a night or two under the stars.
Lots of art work to do, good stuff in the pipeline. 
Building the PMDDAUK website, trying to maintain momentum. Dealing with PMDD queries and stories.  Lot's of ideas, too little time.
Started learning kundalini yoga.  IT'S FANTASTIC.  Possibly my favourite way to spend an hour.
Learning lots of chants and mudras.
Loving life.  Working hard.  Taking the highs with the lows.. still losing my mind occasionally, but there's too much to lose now.. too much to do, to build to grow...

Sending love to all of you... 
Remember... (always)... It will pass.

Breaking Stigmatism

I was asked by the author, Tricia, if I would participate in an interview for her Tumblr Blog called Breaking Stigmatism.

Breaking Stigmatism blog shares stories that help others to shake off the stigma that surrounds mental illness.  It was really lovely to be asked, and it was nice having a chance to think and write about my blog and what it has achieved.

Image from heroesinrecovery.com

The only way to break stigma down, to change the views of others is to be open and honest.  The Mental Health Foundation states that 1 in 4 people will suffer from some kind of mental illness in the course of a year, women are more likely to have been treated for a mental health problem, and that mixed anxiety and depression are the most common mental disorders in Britain.  Looking at those statistics, it is very likely that someone you know will have faced similar challenges and issues, even if it's not caused by the same thing.  When we stop thinking that we are the only one suffering, we can realise that we are not alone. 

If we act like we are stigmatised, if we hide, worried what the world around us may think, we simply fuel the stigma fire.  Stand up, tell it how it is for you, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Read the full interview HERE.

Birthing Pain.

Lots of new things have happened recently.  The PMDD Community page I have been an admin of for the past two years was handed over to me with full control.  This meant that I now had the control to try and make it more active and spend a little more time on it.  I have taken on new admins and am sharing the work load over there as the priority for me is my new website and maintaining this blog.

With the launch of the new website www.pmddawareness.co.uk, amd PMDD Awareness month, I have been really busy.  Couple that with Easter holidays and work being done around the house, life has been a bit hectic.

In birthing these new projects, these new ideas, I came across some people who wanted to bring it all down.  It was a shock, and to be honest, ruined my Easter with the family.  Taking abuse on Facebook from people you've tried to help is not nice.  Being publicly slagged off when you've trusted someone is also uncalled for.  Seeing someone ripping off your ideas, using my images and then having the audacity to accuse me of things I haven't done.  I have been dealing with a ton of anxiety and stress with it all and it did almost break me.

I ended up thinking... right.. I'll go offline.  I'll throw in the towel and forget about PMDD Awareness UK.  I'll go private again.  I'll withdraw.

I started thinking about birth.  The project I've been planning for over 6 months has now just been 'birthed'.  What happens in the birth process?  There is pain.  There is doubt.  There is fear.

PMDD Awareness UK is my baby.  Someone was threatening that, making me feel like I shouldn't be doing it, that I am a bad person.  But it was about to be out there.. I had already announced it would be going live.  Can you stop labour? Can you push a baby back in?  Can you say NO, I don't want this when the head has already come out?

It's taken me days to shake the negative feelings and thoughts.  I'm in a part of my cycle when it's more difficult coping with stressful situations.  I am never gonna get this person to see what happened from my side.  It may have been a PMDD outburst, but that's no excuse for abusing privileges and getting nasty, accusing me of things I simply haven't done and getting others to get involved.

I almost took the site down.  I almost gave up.

But how can that be right?  Why should I give up on all I have done because of one person who has taken a dislike to me.  I get more messages of support and thanks than one persons hatred. 

So, no...  I'm staying put.  I DO have my limits at what I can contribute to the PMDD 'cause'  and I am pretty much there.  The next step is up to others.  I was also accused the week of being egotistical and 'wanting it all for myself'.  That is ludicrous.  To move forward with raising awareness is up to each and every sufferer and their families out there.  I've pretty much done all I can do. 

My blog will always be here for me to share with you things in my life, and the PMDD Awareness site will stay as an online presence for PMDD in the UK.  Providing links to groups, organisations, information and encouraging others to do what they can.  I still have a few things I wish to achieve with regard to PMDD in the UK but this is where I pretty much hit my limit.  Maintaining two PMDD related websites and the groups along with the other things going on in my life... other projects and life paths I wish to follow is more than enough for someone with PMDD to cope with.  I could have never imagined I would get a hold of my PMDD enough to achieve any of it, but at some point, I have to start spending my time on the things that heal me.

Thank you to all my friends who supported me through this last weekend.  I really couldn't do this without the support of you all...