I write about my health because...

Day 4 of the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge.

I write about my health because… Reflect on why you write about your health for 15-20 minutes without stopping.

It's weird... for me writing about my life and disorder has become normal, but I guess others may see it as a bit bizarre or self indulgent.  I can't imagine NOT writing out the things in my head.

I started blogging over 10 years ago.  Back then, I had no idea I had PMDD.  My marriage had just ended, a relationship of 10 years.  I was on my own in a strange town as I'd moved away with my daughter who was then 3 years old.  I had a computer and access to the internet and I was stuck in alone, every single day and night, trying to raise a child and dealing with being single for the first time in my adult.

I relied on chat rooms mainly, for company of an evening and then I discovered blogging.  The platform of choice was Diary X and the computer (and internet) was run by hamsters.  I could remain anonymous, and I would type out all my feelings and talk about the things that had happened to me in my life.  I look back and cringe at the honesty.  The things I would reveal and share to the world.  I often do the same about some of my earlier posts on this blog, but the honesty has led me to where I am now.  Being able to help and comfort hundreds of other women who read my blog.


I write about my health because it gives my mind an outlet.  PMDD makes my thoughts spiral.  I find myself full of words and no one to say them too.  A blog gives me that space to let it all out.

Moods and Musings is 5 years old this year.  For the first 3 years, it was a place to feel sorry for myself.  It was a place to let out my frustrations.  When I started this blog, I had been diagnosed with Pre Menstrual Dysphoric disorder.  I didn't blog that regularly, but I knew it was there if I needed it.  It was called Moods and Musings as I ofter liked to write about things other than my disorder, and my mind wanders.. I like to indulge that.  In the past two years my focus changed.  I was fed up with just spilling out my woes, and I also figured that it was all becoming a pretty depressing read.  So, I decided to start writing articles and compiling informative blog posts that would have the potential of helping others.  At the same time I started a support group on Facebook, that has gone from strength to strength and I now have a total of 3 meeting places on Facebook for women with PMDD.

My health over the past 5 years has also improved.  My life has changed dramatically, and in turn has given me more strength to find the positive in things.  I have learned better ways of dealing and living with PMDD.  I have my journey here in front of me.... and it's out there for others to share.
I still write about my experiences, but I now try to make every post more positive.  Yes, women with PMDD are looking for women with similar stories, and to know that they aren't the only one, but they are also looking for alternative ways of coping, for tips, ideas and theories that might shed some light on their life.

So, I now blog because I know I have readers.. because I know that my articles have helped others to come to some realisation that in turn has helped them.  I STILL need an outlet for my busy mind and all the thoughts in my head, and for as long as I can find things to write about, I will be blogging!

Superpower Day!

Day 3 of the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge.

Superpower Day. If you had a superpower – what would it be? How would you use it?

It took me a long time to think of an answer to this as I believe that there are many 'powers' that us humans have that are pretty super!

If I were to have a superpower, it would have to be teleportation.  I would love to be able to go anywhere in the world at the wiggle of a nose.. in a kitch Bewitched stylee!

On my bad days, I could zip over to Australia or America to meet up with some of my very good online friends who are also sufferers of PMDD, or find myself sitting on a beach in Hawaii while it pours down with rain the in UK.

I'm not the best at traveling, especially alone, so to be able to think about where I want to go, then pop up there a few seconds later would just be the best power.

I could go see bands that I love when they tour everywhere except for England, and catch things early in the cinema!!

I would nip over to New York to meet my favourite artist Alex Grey and attend one of his full moon events, and enrol on some of the courses in the USA that I just simply drool over when reading about!

The first place I would go is to India.  It has been my dream destination since I was a child.  I am Anglo Indian, and would love to spend time over there and visit where my grandparents lived... I would visit all the amazing historic places around the globe, but not before purchasing a very fancy camera so I could log all my travels!

Quotation Inspiration

Day 2 of the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge.

Quotation Inspiration. Find a quote that inspires you (either positively or negatively) and free write about it for 15 minutes.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along, with patience and equanimity.
Carl Jung

I have chosen this quote as sufferers of PMDD are on a constant mission to find happiness, often forgetting that everyone is on the same mission.  The reason it becomes such an obsession is because PMDD leads the sufferer to experience extreme states of depression and anxiety, often without the equal amount of euphoria on the 'good' days, as with bipolar sufferers.  Sure, with my PMDD I experience a rush of energy and feelings of happiness, but due to the rapid cycling of symptoms, it can sometimes be clouded by the knowledge that this will be short lived.

It is often talked about that to gauge happiness, we have to experience sadness.  Without something to measure it against, we would be oblivious to the different states of mind.  The main difference between life with PMDD and life without PMDD is the monthly cycle.  If you don't have PMDD, happy times can last longer than a few days.  With PMDD, you know that inevitably, the clouds will roll in eventually and your mood will drop.  I know that every sufferer lives in hope that this month will be the month when it doesn't happen, only to feel frustrated and disappointed when it does.

As the quote suggests, it is much better to take every day as it comes and react accordingly.  This is not easy with the busy lives we lead, with commitments and duties, but if you want to get through each month without a major breakdown, it is often essential.  When we say that PMDD affects every single aspect of your life, every single day of the month we are not exaggerating.

Patience is also key.   The dictionary describes patience as 'the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like'.  'An ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay' and 'a quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.'  When your mood drops, you are likely to be confronted with many negative emotions.  Everything can annoy you, frustrate you and cause anxiety.  The one thing we can be sure of during these times, is that they are temporary, and the same things in a week or so, will not affect you in the same way.  Therefore, to be patient, with yourself and others is a really good way to get through these trying times.

Equanimity is an evenness of mind especially under stress.  This is very challenging for a woman with PMDD, as the usual perceptions of life and the world around them is twisted and warped, however, if we can try to strive for this calm, by keeping centered, then we can get through the rough times with less stress.  Other words to described equanimity are, composure, collectedness, serenity and tranquility.  It's about staying in the centre of the wheel, while the world spins around you, rather then falling into the outer rim of the wheel and being spun around and caught up in the crazy emotions.

Women with PMDD are actually blessed with being able to feel the full spectrum of emotions, and as the quote suggests, it is essential to accept the dark times as a valuable measure of the good times.  Women with PMDD can achieve great things, they hold great strength within and are very intelligent and capable.  Every success is even sweeter when accomplished alongside PMDD, as the road to get there is more difficult for them than it is for others.

If I were to sum up PMDD visually, it would be a Yin Yang.  The black side, representing the bad days, but with a spot of white to remind you this is temporary and good things ARE possible. With the flip side being the white side, that will always contain a spot of black, representing the fact that you have travelled through dark times to reach this place.  It also symbolises the fact that within the good times, there is always a pang that the dark times will come, and more importantly, within the dark times, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.  Clear thinking will always return and life will feel good again.

PMDD Time Capsule

Day 1 of the Health Activist Writers Month Challenge.

Health Time Capsule. Pretend you’re making a time capsule of you & your health focus that won’t be opened until 2112. What’s in it? What would people think of it when they found it?

If I created a time capsule for PMDD, I would have to include a few books on the subject.

The PMDD Phenomenon by Diana Dell would be one, as it was the first book I read about PMDD that helped me chart and get diagnosed.  From the medical point of view it covers pretty much everything you need to know about PMDD although sadly, now out of print and a little out of date, it was a saving grace when everything else failed to give me the information I needed.

My book!!  Obviously, I would need to finish it first!  It will be a compilation of many women's personal stories of their PMDD.  This book will be the real life version of PMDD.. in women's own words.

The Women's Quest workbook by Alexandra Pope.  This workbook enabled me to understand my menstrual cycle in a different way, and showed me that it isn't all bad, and there are valid reasons for the up's and down's.  I attribute most of my healing to this way of thinking and continue to learn about the spiritual side of the menstrual cycle and it's gifts.  Learning to observe and keep calm is essential to keeping on track and not letting you mind spin out of control.

Mood Charts to show the people of the future how much information is needed to diagnose PMDD.  Very few people realise how much this disorder affect every aspect of your life, and how hard it is to get the correct diagnosis.

A Mooncup.  This simple little device has helped my periods get lighter and less painful.  It is eco-friendly and means a lot less waste going into landfill.  I think everyone should try one!!  I have been using one for 8 months and my periods are now very light and only last a few days.  It's a fantastic little invention.

My Menstrual Cycle Energy Poster, that illustrates the symbolic nature of the menstrual cycle.

I would also include some of my art that I created about PMDD.

 

30 Day Blog challenge for April 2012

I will be participating in a new activity this April.

The Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge hosted by WEGO Health.

I will be writing a post a day for all 30 days. If you write a blog, I hope you'll join me in writing every day about health. It's going to be a lot of fun and I'd love to see what you have to say about each of the topics, too.  I've seen the topics and am looking forward to using the prompts to create some interesting posts!

All you have to do to join is sign up here: http://info.wegohealth.com/HAWMC2012 and you'll be able to start posting once April rolls around.

Gotta love a challenge eh!

 

To my PMDD Sisters...

If you forget.

I want you to know that no matter what, you are loved, wanted, needed and valued.
I want you to know that no matter how bad you feel, I'll be here to hold your hand and comfort you. I want you to know I love your smile, your laugh and your tears. You represent what it is to be human, and I embrace your honesty and truth. You are unique. You are perfect... and I want you to remember that.

I want you to know that however dark things seem, however unsettled you feel, I am here for you. I want you to realise that within the darkness, great lessons can be learned, for no one walks this Earth in eternal daylight. You do not walk alone, for I am by your side. Night will always turn into day. Day will always turn into night, so lets watch the sunset together and be reminded of how beautiful life is.

Where ever there is a rift, there is a gift. Where ever there is weakness, there is deep strength. You may feel life is hard, challenging, or unfair. That you drew the short straw or were dealt a bad hand. I want you to know there is no such thing, for you are blessed with life, and life is neither black or white, good or bad, but a mixture of the two and all the colours in between.

When times feel bleak, and you are wishing you hadn't been born, remember that I would miss you. You're presence is noted and the world would not be the same without you. No one else is you, only YOU can be you, and to lose that, is to lose something that could never be replaced. You are divine. You are a Goddess. You are my best friend.

I want you to know that you are strong, and with that strength you are an inspiration to others. I want you to know that I will love you whether you are happy or sad, because both have value, and both are essential for your well being.
I want you to know that you are not a mistake, a freak, a weirdo, useless, worthless or a waste of space. You are precious, your life is precious, and I am honored to know you.

If you forget, in a moment of madness that you are all these things and more. I will be there to remind you. If you get scared, I will protect you. If you feel lost, I will find you. No one is better than you, no one has it all, so stop beating yourself up and start accepting yourself. See yourself how I see you, perfect in every way.
The way you were meant to be.

You are divine. You are a Goddess. You are unique. You are perfect.

I love you.


© Cat Stone 2012

PMDD Posters!

In the KEEP CALM style that is so popular, I have created some simple web posters for you to use!

I hope you like them!  Feel free to copy/download and share, just please don't remove my website address.

If you can think of any other good ones, let me know in the comments below!  I can make more!

        

        

All design by Cat Stone 2012.