PMDD Awareness Month 2015

Show your support! 

The National Association for PMDD is continuing the PMDD Awareness month throughout April. 

Use the hashtag #pmddbrave

Handing things over...

Recently, I decided I can no longer maintain the PMDD-Community page and PMDD Awareness UK pages on Facebook.  It breaks my heart every time I cannot respond to a message, and the pages need an injection of energy and enthusiasm that I just can't muster now towards PMDD things.

Within a few days of the call out on the community page I had found someone perfect for the position.  It's a challenging place to be when you have thousands of likers and you can no longer continue what you started, so it was always my priority to hand over to people who I feel have every intention of keeping these spaces going to the best of their ability.  Jenn Stephan has experience in running pages and women's health, alongside being a PMDD sufferer and is looking forward to adding more content and creating conversations on the page.  I'm sure she will do just great.

So, I bid farewell to a community I have looked after for 4 years.  It is both a sad and happy time.  It will be strange not to check in on the page every couple of days and to no longer have the responsibility to reply to comments and queries.  I am looking forward to really being able to move on without thinking about PMDD or being called back to help someone else in need.  It may sound selfish, but I know I have dedicated a lot of my life to helping others while healing myself, but for this next part of the journey I need to go it alone (symbolically!).  I still run a a couple of support groups (I don't know if I might need some support during the next part of my journey, or if that's even the right place, but it feels right to still have some connections there)

The PMDD Awareness UK page is also being handed on to a lady called Victoria.  Victoria currently admins the UK support group and is looking to help raise more awareness.  Victoria's own journey with PMDD sees her recovering from a hysterectomy, so if there is anyone who can understand first hand the struggles of living with PMDD it's her.  I'm hoping she will enjoy running the page and helping others as much as I have.  Taking hold of the PMDD baton and running with it is essential to the future of PMDD being understood, so I hope these women realise they are doing a worthwhile and needed job for others with the condition.

My best wishes to them both.  The posts I make to these pages over the next few days will be my last, as I help the new ladies find their feet.  I will always remember what was achieved and how much support I got through these spaces.  If you are searching for help, go there now and ask for help.  Someone is there waiting to listen and share advice.

Much love x

Introducing Emma, Michelle, Amanda and The PMDD Project

Emma is active in helping to raise awareness of PMDD and has been brave enough to start creating vlogs about her experiences with PMDD.  She recently featured in her local newspaper in Sussex County NJ Herald sharing her story and plans to start a local PMDD group.  Emma also runs a support group on Facebook called PMDD Survivors.

Click below to watch the first in the series.

Michelle has been writing about her PMDD for a while now, and has been a trusted friend of mine for a while. She writes with humour and honesty over at her blog www.whyamihappy.blogspot.com and has also started creating video blogs as part of the PMDD project. Visit her Facebook page here

Amanda is the founder of Flurt! magazine and creator of The PMDD Project.  She has worked really hard to raise awareness of PMDD and feminist issues in Canada.  Amanda plans to use the videos created as part of The PMDD Project to create a documentary about PMDD.  To find out more, watch the vlog below or visit the YouTube page.  Find The PMDD Project on Facebook.




It's so wonderful to see more women step forward and help raise awareness... It's not easy putting yourself out there, as I know only too well, so every women brave enough to tell their story in an attempt to help others deserves a round of applause in my book! Maybe one day I might be brave enough to talk to a camera! until then go and give these lovely ladies a visit... and remember to say hi!

Long summer...

So it's been a while since I've written.. Life stuff, and awesome summer weather took me away from the computer.  I've been painting and studying, completing my PTTLS certificate (for adult and post 16 teaching) and am currently studying to become a meditation teacher.

Real life, positive things, visions of the future... PLUS the meditation really helps... I mean.. REALLY helps.

This year has been challenging as well as productive, and I have just come out of a big breakdown.  I'm sure this is triggered by the change in season...  I'm feeling a bit better, and I might share the drama's of last week at some point, but right now I'm just trying to forget it.  Pick myself up, brush myself off and get on.

Just today, one of my lovely support group members let me know that she has nominated me for a WEGO Health Activist award... Thank you! This is the lovely message I received today...

"I admire Cat Hawkins immensely. She has strength, courage, creativity and the kindness and caring in abundance. That she should to give all of us a safe haven is beyond belief, when we all know that she suffers in the same way we do. In nominating her, I just want to show my gratitude and appreciation. In times of extreme need it is her groups that I turn to first. If you feel the same then please also take some time out of your day to nominate Cat."

I'm honoured... especially as the groups were started to fill a desperate need of my own to meet other sufferers, and my blog was simply a place to offload and share information, and even more so as my participation and blog writing has taken a back seat this year. I'm glad that what is out there is still helping, but the groups couldn't continue without help from admins and the amazing support each member gives to one another... So thank you too! to the women who continue to use the group and help others, and the ladies who help me keep things ticking over! ♥

https://awards.wegohealth.com/?utm_campaign=thank-you-share&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook#howitworks

Friday night creation...

We sometimes play this in the support groups... it often get's us giggling...

Where I am with things now...

The following is part of a message I wrote to my new UK support group...  I thought I'd share here too.

When I started the support groups I was very active in all of them.  I was still struggling with my PMDD and needed the valuable words of support and advice that you can find in the group, however, life moves on and my struggles are far more under my control and I am beginning to focus my time on other things.  What this means is although I am the group owner, I may not be in here and posting all the time.  I will always respond to anything I'm tagged in, but I unfortunately don't have the time I used to have to dedicate to the groups.  There was one point in my life when my PMDD groups were the first thing I checked in the morning and the last thing at night!  I have always seen the need to create a UK group, so this, I think, will be the last group I set up!

I have been writing my blog for about 6 years and writing has my saviour so many times.  Go back a few years and you can read my posts from when I was at my worst, right up to now where I tend to focus my writing into creating more positive articles and blogs.  It has proved quite popular and I thank the Goddess for ever comment that keeps me writing.  I get lots of emails and inbox messages for people looking for help.  It would be impossible for me to help and support everyone, but what I can do is create a space where you can do it for each other.

I have lived with this since I was 13, and have tried many medications, birth controls, IUD's etc but the only thing that worked for me was changing the way I saw my period. I began working with the natural ups and downs.  I learned to deal better with stress and I make sure I avoid stressful situations.  Looking after myself, honouring what having a powerful connection to the cycle means has helped turn things around for me. I do not believe in medications.  I do not believe this incurable.  I see PMDD as a severe imbalance within the system, with many factors contributing to the overall list of symptoms.  It's a whole mix up of low serotonin, adrenal fatigue, excess hormones or lack of, sensitivity to the hormonal changes, not enough healthy food and exercise, lack of sleep, traumatic situations, childhood baggage, unhealthy relationships, being over worked, and negative though patterns etc etc... possibly mixed up with some depression and other health conditions you may have, and possibly brought on by some kind of reaction to hormonal medication, pregnancy, or underlying problem in the sex organs.

I now manage my PMDD and life so that I rarely suffer the severe symptoms.  I'm not free of it, but neither would I want to be.  PMDD makes me look at my life and the things I am doing.  It stops me from taking on more than I can handle.  It makes me streamline my friendships so that I only have people around me who I trust and who understand me.  It has led me to become strong and there is nothing better than PMDD to teach you how to 'not sweat the small stuff'.  I have achieved this through stopping all meds and birth control, getting lots of counseling, moving on from bad relationships and stressful friendships, and becoming more aware of my cycle.  I use spiritual views and ideas to get me through, concepts about the menstrual cycle that I connected with in a spiritual way.  It's made me be more honest and open with those around me.  It makes me ask for help when I need it. 

My menstrual cycle has become a source of inspiration for me and I no longer fear it.  I know the cycle.  I know MY cycle.  I rest when I need to, I work hard when I can.  I see my life, much like a circus act.  I'm the plate spinner.  I get one going, then my mood changes, so I set another one spinning... I keep going till there are things to do no matter what mood I'm in, so I focus on those things in turn as my mood changes.  Sometimes I drop all the plates, and after a rant, rest or cry, I start picking them back up and get spinning again.

 

One thing I have realised is that I will never be able to work a normal 9-5.  I cannot fit into the schedules of the outside world, so I will no longer strive to.  It has always been my plan to run my own business or go self employed, so that is now where I see myself heading.  One step at a time, always chipping away.  I used to think I would never get anywhere, locked into the crazy cycles, but now I see a path where before there was none.  

By meeting others and realising I was not alone I broke the first chain.  By learning from others and never giving up, never closing my mind to new possibilities I have got this far and so can you.  No matter what path you follow, whether it's meds, hormones, lifestyle, spirituality, alternative treatments or surgery, you will hopefully find someone else in the same boat who can relate, and who can offer support.  We should always be accepting of other peoples choices and remember that what may have worked for us may not work for someone else.  We can always offer a word of support even if we don't fully relate...

Currently, I am building a new website to launch PMDD Awareness UK.  I am hoping this will become a base for PMDD news and campaigns in the UK.  I am also hoping that women will join in in raising awareness, and the website will eventually provide posters to download, and info sheets to give to GP's.  I am also looking at creating a mood chart, downloadable from the website.  There are no organisations working solely for PMDD in the UK.  NAPS do a great job in working on behalf of women with PMDD, and I liase with them regarding PMDD Awareness issues.  They are still our only official organisation and a great place to get info and help.  They are also all set up for that kind of thing, so me, with my PMDD Awareness UK plans will need to continue to ask women to step forward, join the tribe and help try and change things.  You know that saying.. 'if you want something done...' well WE need something done about the state of PMDD and how it is dealt with, WE need to be prepared to write a letter or put up a poster...  It may only seem like small steps, but that's all we need to get started.  It's better than no steps at all! If you haven't liked the PMDD Awareness UK page, please come and do so www.facebook.com/pmddawarenessuk

Lots of love to you all! I wouldn't have got here if it hadn't been for these groups and the readers comments and messages on my blog! all of which have supported me along my journey, so thank you!

If you would like to join my new UK Facebook support group, and you currently live in the UK, please follow this link!  https://www.facebook.com/groups/ukpmddsupport/

Positive or Negative?

There has been some chat in the support group recently about positivity and negativity.  Support groups (and I mean any, not just mine) can be negative places and I mean negative in that most of what is discussed originates from a post that may be very negatively worded.

I started the groups on Facebook mainly because that was where I met other sufferers, for the first time, only a lot of the time I found myself not feeling comfortable sharing on an open wall for all to see.  Hence my closed groups were born.  This meant for me and many others that we had somewhere to write about our problems and worries, somewhere to rant and vent.  This often avoided the same rants or venting on personal pages, allowing people to seek help from an audience that completely understood why that person was having issues.  The problem with ranting to friends or in front of family is that quite often they do not really understand PMDD and therefore can assume all manner of things about the PMDD sufferer.

Lots of valuable information is shared in the groups, and over the past 2 years I have seen women find treatments and paths that have helped them manage their PMDD and lives to the point of leaving the groups never to return.   Some leave and come back after realising they are not quite ready to go it alone.  Having access to a group of women who completely understand really helps to transform the way you see PMDD, the way you see yourself and the world around you.

I have tried to make the groups a positive place, and many women post lots of positive messages, or update us on the good days as well as the bad, however, many feel they should not share the good days for fear of upsetting those on bad days.  Some may wonder if we are all just dwelling on it too much and keeping ourselves in a space of pain and hurt.  The way I see it is we all need support to find our path.  Some ladies may find that just a few kind words can transform their day, but the only way they are going to get a response is to share the negative situation they find themselves in.  Some ladies may only need the support of a group for a couple of months, some may need a couple of years.  This difference is because we are all unique and are at various points on our healing paths.

I think it's OK to have a space that absorbs all the negative.  Writing things down is known to be a good way to transform thoughts into something more tangible, real.  That way we can then release them.  I used to worry and dislike the way the Facebook wall works.  I was used to forums where you could go back on old posts and comments, and I could see (and still do) some really useful ways a forum could work, aside from the fact people wouldn't have to repeat themselves or have the same discussion over and over, and women could also look back and see how far they've come, or find past posts easier.  Unfortunately, the FB wall doesn't lend itself to this very well... it's a dumping ground.  The good thing about this however, is we are NOT reminded of the bad days all the time, the past is the past and is rarely brought back up for re-discussion.  This is good with regard to PMDD as we have these crazy, dark moments, but they are not us.. they may be typed up, posted, talked about and then are lost to the wall and we move on.

Each and every individual needs to take responsibility for themselves and their own healing, whether that includes meds or not.  I have always said the groups should not be a stress to anyone, and that if the negativity in the group is something that is causing you problems then you may need to take a break from the group (just like in life, really).  Many women only visit the group when they need to rant, or some may visit if they see a cry for help and they are strong enough to post a reply.  The support groups as they are work because they are really for one thing only, and that is to talk with other sufferers and find some understanding and sympathy.

What I would like to highlight though, is the power of negative words.  I think this is something all people should consider, but maybe women with PMDD more so.   

Last year, in our house, we tried The Big Apple Experiment.  You cut an apple in half and place it in identical glass, airtight jars, and then over the coming week/s you love one half and hate the other.

It was VERY easy to hate the hate half of the apple.  There was no trouble with finding hateful, hurtful things to say to that half of the apple.  My husband and I could rant at it for a while before running out of things to say, yet, when it came to saying lovely things to the other half, we all found it harder.  It even felt OK to hate, but when we tried to say loving things, it was not easy to find the words and we'd feel uncomfortable about expressing it.  What does that say about us?  Why do we not feel comfortable with speaking words of love and happiness?

Over the coming weeks we continued to talk to each half of the apple every day and the results were amazing.

You may be hugely skeptical, and if you are, I urge you to try it!  It's a great thing to do with the children to teach them about how their words can affect others, but it's also an eye opener as to what we may be doing to ourselves when we talk negatively about ourselves.  There is a lot of self hatred that goes on within PMDD groups, and of course, others will always give a hug and some reassuring words, but just LOOK at what you are potentially doing to yourself with negative words and thoughts.  These ideas, as mentioned in the video above, come from Masuru Emoto's work, which some of you may like to take a look at, and I also found another video!

It is good to rid yourself of negative emotions, we know that, however, when we see what that negativity can do to us and the people around us I think we all need to be more selective with our words, especially with the things we say to ourselves.  It's not about being all fluffy bunny and irritatingly positive all the time, but maybe finding more positive ways to look at things, and watching what you SAY and think.  Words have a massive impact on us, much more that we really realise.

As always, in the name of balance, I am also sharing a link with you which explores why positive thinking is NOT necessarily always good for you!  It's all great food for thought, and hopefully, somewhere in all this mornings ramblings, you may find something that helps you! http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creativity-and-personal-mastery/201004/why-positive-thinking-is-bad-you

The most important change I have made in my life with PMDD is that things are not BAD or GOOD.. POSITIVE or NEGATIVE... there are gifts to be found in the darkest of moments, there is positivity to be found even in the most awful situations.  I do not have good and bad weeks anymore, I have better weeks and more challenging weeks, or high energy weeks and low energy weeks.  I no longer allow myself to get sucked into self hatred and speaking terrible things at myself in the mirror.  I also curb what I say about others, knowing that that negative energy could find them and cause more rifts and friction.  In many spiritual traditions there is a Law of Three, or Threefold law.  That which you give out comes back to you 3 times over.  Some call it Karma.  If you give out positivity, you get back more positivity, and the same works for negativity.

So, in summary, there is a place for the support groups.  Somewhere to rant, rage, hate, let off steam, expel anger and meet others who can understand and share their experiences without judgement, however each and every one of us is responsible for their own lives, happiness, healing and well being.  No one can cure you, no one can save you, no one can make it all better with the swish of a wand, but we all have the ability to make life easier for ourselves, to break bad habits and try and see ourselves and situations from a different perspective.   

When I was at Uni, there was a lad who only drew in red.  Everything he did was created in red.  He was a bit worried about it, as he didn't want to lose marks.  The tutor was brilliant and said something that stuck with me ever since.. He said that the lad should go with it.. just work in red until the desire to work in red has gone.  At some point in the future he will get fed up with red and change to a different colour, but there was no point in trying to force it.  That's how I see the groups.  Women need it for a certain amount of time, they need a space to moan and offload, but that wont necessarily last forever, and in time, they will change the colour, or add colours, until they are off painting with all the colours the world has to offer.

Draw in red for a while, if that's what you need...  one day, you will change the colour, you will move on, you will change...  You may feel at the bottom of a deep dark pit, that everything you say is negative and then that in turn fuels MORE negativity, you may feel there is no way out, that you will always be like this, but you wont...  Nothing ever stays the same!

XX

Merry Christmas!

Are you ready for Christmas?

What part of your cycle will you be in over the Christmas break?

I'm feeling blessed as I am currently on day 4, so in 6 days time, I'll be hitting ovulation and will hopefully be able to enjoy the festivities without lack of energy getting in the way.  I do feel like I've lost a load of time this week having to retreat and rest, so I am slightly anxious at the moment. I'm not a party person, but I do like being able to enjoy the company of others without PMDD stresses getting in the way!  What I will have to watch however are my frustrations and anxiety, as ovulation can so easily tip from energy and excitement into anxiety and anger.

Where will you be in 6 days time?

'Cycle' scopes for Christmas 2012!

Days 1-7 - Menstruation
If you are due to bleed just before or on Christmas/Boxing day then try to get things organised while you are still pre-menstrual.  During menstruation we need quiet time and to relax and rest.   This may be difficult with Christmas arrangements.  Hopefully, if you were aware that your sacred time was due to fall at such a busy time, you may have been able to plan ahead. Maybe saying no to invites out to social situations that would be too much for you at this time.  If staying at home with the family can mean just as much stress, then be open.   Make sure you partner knows that you will be in a retreat time of the month and you may need to rest.. EVEN if it's Christmas.. PMDD does not know it's Christmas!  If you don't feel like cooking, then maybe taking Mum up on the invite might actually be better and relieve some pressure.  Call on others to help, and if you need to rest and take some quiet time out then make sure loved ones know that it's just because you need it to stay well, and not because they have done something to upset you.  If you can muster up enough energy to visit family then maybe limit the time you are there. Sometimes getting out, even though we feel terrible can actually help.  Go easy on yourself, and remember a walk outside can help with pain and stress.. Menstruation relates to winter, so at Christmas you have a 'double dose' of winter as it were.  You may find yourself deep in reflection of the past year and considering what 2013 may bring.  It may be difficult to get through, but when you do you'll be over the worst ready for the bright shiny new year!


Days 7-14 - Pre Ovulation
If you are due to be in the pre ovulation stage of your cycle, Christmas may feel a bit too much.   You may find it hard to get into the swing of things, especially if you have just finished bleeding and the last week before Christmas was a crazy panic as you had tons to do but no energy to do them in. You may feel the energy coming back and with it a sense of optimism and happiness, and excitement about Christmas.   Don't let anything you forgot to do, or couldn't get done in time cause you stress.  It's ONE day.   Nothing is ever perfect and remember that all those rosy images you see plastered over the TV screens and adverts are just that.. fantasy.  You may experience anxiety, with the rushing of energy back into your being, but just take some breaths and remember that everything is OK.   You may decide YOUR party time this year is over new year's eve, when you will be ovulating. You also might hit the sales to find the perfect present for yourself!  You'll reach new year wanting to manifest new things with ovulation.   Ovulation has an energy similar to spring, with new life returning to the earth.  You may want to start looking at some new years resolutions over Christmas, plant the seed.  It will be easier to bring into fruition in January.


Day 14-21 - Ovulation
Ovulation over the Christmas period may mean you are feeling good and ready for the festive season. Pre ovulation may have seen you preparing and organising for Christmas.   The rush in energy may have seen you rushing around buying and making last minute presents.  You're spirits may be high and you may be feeling good about any social events you have planned.  The energy is social and busy, it relates to Summer.   Many women have a challenging time with ovulation, the pressure to be 'out there' for some personalities is too much.   The worry about how we look and appear to the world. Some ladies like make up and getting dressed up, some don't.  Which ever category you are in, be YOU.  If you have a fancy party to go to but hate getting dressed up, and therefore that is causing anxiety, then just go in something you like. Bend the rules and find something smart but casual.. it's Christmas!  If you don't want to go, and going will create a disasterous situation then don't go, but don't beat yourself up about it for the rest of the holidays.  Beware of ovulation anger and frustration. With everyone being home at Christmas we can easily become angered and irritated by people, especially those close.   Usually it's because there is something we want to do, but we are not being allowed, or for some reason it can't happen.  This is a good time to practice letting things go and re focusing on the things we CAN do.  Acknowledge that we are upset and why, then move on..  As we tip over into pre menstruation, we will experience fluctuating symptoms and our mood can drop. Remember that as much as we will the bad days to pass, we should try and make the most of the better days too.  New year may feel a bit of a drag to you, so try to have a good Christmas, the cycle is working with you here, so there is every possibility you could have a REALLY good Christmas!


Days 21-28 - Pre Menstruation
If you will be due on your period at Christmas then you may find it all a bit of a struggle.
The pre menstrual time brings an energy of slowing down and withdrawing, the opposite of what Christmas is all about.  Pre menstruation relates to autumn, and to me that means unsettled weather. Some beautiful bonus sunny days and some right 'orrible ones.  So do what you can.  Ask others to help.  Try and keep Christmas simple and relaxed.  It's a bit late now to pull out of plans that might have been made, but if you really feel you cannot go to something, remember to try and explain things in a calm way, and that it's no ones fault! THIS is when you need to delegate and organise.  Ovulation the week before Christmas may have meant you've had some fun spending and organising presents.  You may have felt full of hope and happiness, but as the wheel turns and you get closer to the big day, you may feel your spirits dropping and your energy flagging. Remember this is not your fault, it just is the way things ebb and flow.   Make sure loved ones know you are due on and might be cranky (or that they need to be on crisis alert).  This also means that you will be bringing in the new year with your bleed.   Not the greatest scenario, but one that can't be helped.  The new year is a time of contemplation, reflection and thoughts to the future.   You can use your sacred time over new year to really look at 2012 and what you have learned, how far you have come and what you want for 2013.


Make sure YOU take the steps you need to to get through the season.  We can explain things to others and in turn they can help, but if you don't let others know, your moods and actions can be taken in the wrong way.  Running up to bed on Christmas day may seem rude or selfish, but not if you've explained.  An hour or two in bed may mean you have a happier evening, rather than end up snapping at the kids or your partner.  You have to look after your own needs, and put things in place so that you avoid as much stress as possible.

Christmas can be a really challenging time for many, whether you have PMDD or not, so try and prepare a little.  One of the good things about PMDD is it is usually quite predictable, so we can look a week or two ahead and get an idea of where we will be in our cycle.

I hope this little blog helps, and I hope that your Christmas passes without any form of crisis.

If you do find yourself alone and in a dark place, please don't hesitate to contact someone.   If there are no friends or family you can call on then make note of your local helpline numbers. Don't suffer alone.  If you are a member of mine or any other support groups, remember you can always post in there, even if it's quieter at this time of year, someone will respond, and sometimes support comes from unlikely places.

Sending much love and many Yuletide blessings!
Cat xx 

Support lines in the UK

Samaritans - 08457 90 90 90 (24-hour helpline)
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk

Sane - 0845 767 8000 (daily, 6pm-11pm)
Charity offering support and carrying out research into mental illness.
Website: www.sane.org.uk

Happy Birthday!

PMDD Support is 2 years old today! Happy Birthday!

I clicked the create button two years ago on a group (PMDD Support) I was hoping would introduce me and allow me to talk to other PMDD sufferers. A few months later we went up to two groups (PMDD Support 2). Then the PMDD Support Red Tent was created... The family and friends group has come and gone.. but on the whole I feel very proud that the groups are still attracting members and that discussion is still going on.

Life has changed dramatically for me since I first created the groups. I was a very different person. Still on meds, still trying to deal with the fact the injection was unsuccessful, desperate for information, for friendship, for anyone to listen and understand what was going on. I was still getting over the effects of a negative relationship and trying to build a new one. Over the past 2 years I have met some incredible women, some who are still in the groups and some who aren't. It's been awesome to see women learning, figuring themselves out, figuring out how to manage their PMDD, what works, what doesn't... gaining support from others who understand. I've seen women who are so down on themselves, thinking they are the worlds worst.. who then write a lovely supportive post to someone else... showing so much compassion and understanding.

We are far from the nasty, stressed out, angry, crazy women we see ourselves as. We are strong, we have the capacity to feel the deepest emotions.. in our own healing paths we HAVE to learn about ourselves. If we try and carry on blind to our own needs, we see ourselves becoming more unwell. All in all we become the women who dance with the darkness, who learn to control themselves, who inspire others to keep on. If we can do it, what's the problem with everyone else?

We are picky with who and what we spend our time on, we know how precious those moments are. We have to learn how to 'not sweat the small stuff'.. we become the ones who understand ourselves better than anyone else ever could, and with that we CAN have happier and more successful lives

With the support I have found in the groups, I have been able to take on more groups, I have been encouraged and inspired to write blogs. I have found much better ways of communicating with my man, I got married!! I continued the PMDD campaign. I have come off all medications. I found a way that worked for me.. ideas that made sense, a way of understanding PMDD that helped me to heal.. I have had almost 2 cycles of barely any mental/emotional symptoms.. I have many projects on the go.. I even earned a little from my art recently! Things can change, in fact things ALWAYS change. Of that we can always be certain. So no matter how you are feeling today, know that life is ever flowing, ever changing.. if you are feeling good, it is possible to feel even better. If you are feeling low, it is possible and most likely, that you WILL feel better again.

Sending love to you all today (and a virtual slice of birthday cake!)

Cat xx

The Power in Sharing

I wrote this earlier... inspired by the following quote that came up in my news feed.  Although this is a blog and not a group, it still applies... and I felt like sharing.

"The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed...The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning.
As I told my stories of fear, awakening, struggle, and transformation and had them received, heard, and validated by other women, I found healing.
I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resolutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different."
— Sue Monk Kidd (The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine)

THIS is what my groups are all about. We may have come together through PMDD, in the same way as new mum's get together with their babies, or people with mutual interests or hobbies, but essentially, we have created our own sisterhood. We share our own stories and truths, we grow and learn from each other. We find similar traits and quirks, we learn how similar, and at the same time, how different we all are. We come together and a kind of magic happens. We start to heal. We start to take our lives into our hands and deal with the things that don't serve us, learn what we like or don't like. We learn what might be holding us back, by listening to the words of someone else's story and identifying with them. We connect, we feel, we support.

Through sharing we become stronger. We become more ourselves, because we have a space to be ourselves in. Cherish it. Many women out there don't have this. A place to talk, freely, with lots of other women. What a wonder the internet is to be able to provide this space! The group is your witness.  

We've come together sharing a darkness. We are women who know the shadow. We know what it feels like to fear, to hate, to feel pain, mental and physical. We have found each other in the dark. I merely lit a candle and waited for you all to arrive.

There is such strength amongst us. If only each of us could see and know how strong we already are.

I had a comment from a man in the past, telling me how my groups had made his girlfriend worse. Worse I wonder? Worse for who?

When women come together and share and talk.. even over the internet, things can start changing. Women might realise they are unhappy with their job for example, or that that particular friendship is really not helping them to heal or grow. They might realise their abusive partner is actually out of line and decide to leave them. I know we talk a lot about PMDD, but we also talk a lot about life and our situations. When you start realising your truth, when you start making your own choices, life around you changes and that might not meet with other people's approval, it might make you seem different to real life friends or family. In turn you may meet with resistance. This is when you call on the collective. This is when you draw on the strength, the knowledge and the love of your sisters.

Keep going. PMDD is challenging, but there is so much to be gained. Whatever you feel you need to do, to make life easier, better, change, go with it. We know ourselves better than anyone else.

Use what you learn here. Share what you know. Know that you are loved and accepted here for ALL you are.

♥

Support group downtime

I woke this morning unable to access my Family and Friends of PMDD group.

This is a little note to try and reach members who I have no other way of contacting.

I have not done a thing!  It must be a Facebook glitch as I have touched nothing.  The group is not available.  I am hoping it will reappear at some point.  I am really sorry for the inconvenience and in all my time running the support groups this has NEVER happened before which is why I am really concerned.

Day 29 today... I can't really deal with this today..  If the group has gone, I don't know if I have enough energy to set up another.   :(

Really don't need this....